Filing a restraining order should not be hard! In fact, it should be so fucking easy that Sarah Palin's new addition should be able to file one without breaking out into a diaper rash. I'd certainly file if that insane broad was my mom. I'd rather be a hungry retard in a soiled diaper, playing with New York City sewer rats as my cribmates than have Sarah Palin as my mother and if by the unlucky draw of the cards, I opened my newborn eyes fresh from the womb, only to find her vacantly staring down at me, I would fling my tiny baby body out of her arms and kamakazi my ass out the window. Hopefully, the labor room would at least 3 stories high.
But I digress! This post wasn't supposed to be a political platform regarding my feelings on the Repubes, abortion, the mentally challenged and rodent daycare! And to be fair, I must fully disclose that I'm not even sure what that crazy, delusional, facts-are-only-relevant when it backs my inane arguments broad is up to nowadays. My informed Palin-hatin' days stopped after she attacked Rahm Emanuel for using the word Retard. I decided it was in the best interest of the world to tune her out (and I hope the world follows my lead, especially before 2012, but if you decide to tune her out during or after 2012, I'll be ok with that as well, just so long as you do it!). Any Palin bashing I do from this point forth will be blessedly uninformed (you might even say retarded). Plus as a direct result of her Rahm bashing campaign, I have made it my personal mission to use the word Retard as often and as inappropriately as I can.
So to tie this retard ranting post together, as I started to say in the first sentence, filing a restraining order should not be as difficult as it currently is and, in case you didn't know this, our court system and government workers are Retarded.
I wish there was a button we could push (similiar to a time machine but we wouldn't have to build it and get in and actually travel back in time because with a button, all you have to do is press it and presto, you're there ! No traveling, no baggage fees, no snotty stewardesses! It would be awesome, the button/time travel technology needs to be researched further...) and we could get a "redo" on things our society has royally fucked up such as Government, genetically modified seeds, Tori Spelling's tits and deviled eggs (a food that looks like regurgitated penguin fodder.)
UGH: I just tried to call one of the hotline numbers given to me by our very competent court system and the numbers are wrong and they are listed under a service they actually do not provide. RETARDED. Initially, I threw the paper away mumbling under my breath (if you can imagine) about the incompetency that is our legal system and a thought occurred to me; I wonder how many other telephone numbers on this near useless piece of paper is wrong? When I get a little free time, I'm going to call every single one of those numbers and try and get some kind of helpful advice (how sad that I have to qualify the word advice with helpful, it should be implied but when talking about our court system, it needs to be qualified. Pathetic.).
I can't wait to hear what they are going to advise me to do.
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